Pretty Crazy

Interesting. Not much happened though. Basically he just introduced himself. What is going on with his life right now ? This was just an overview of who this guy is. ...

Even though it's so short, there's a lot of detail in this little paragraph. Good job! Here are some nitpicks: i breathed out, "I" should always be capitalized. No matter ...

That is awesome! You should stick to manga- you're really good at it! :P

If light bulbs were alive we'd no longer be the brightest creatures on the planet! :elephant: :lol: :elephant: :lol: :roll:

I agree that Myzac and Falcia should be friends. But it's up to Kaywiia if she wants to do that.

*Can I make a character? This will be my first storybook so I'm not as experienced as some people. Anyway, here it goes:* Name: Myzac Age: 16 Power: Has two ...

Interesting concept. I'm curious to see where this goes next. Like all writers, there are a few things you could improve on. But before I get into that. Here are ...

Your writing is good. Very alive. Very entertaining. But. (you knew that was coming didn't you?) It needs more description. It was all rushed. You introduced characters so fast I ...

It can be anything. We all complain, just type in something random that you have on your mind. For example: My feet are cold. So complain away.

Hmm, I like how you started without a lot detail. It kind of summarizes it and gets the reader into it. Also, it was wise to not have the entire ...

RSVP :P

This is the first christian-based story I've ever seen on YWS. Thank you! I cannot wait to see what happens next. This was very intense- especially the first part. I ...

Banned for using my favorite smiley. :P :P :P

This was really good. Somehow you balanced action, description, emotion, and what time this was set- and this is the first chapter! Oh, and you didn't have too much stuff ...

You get a three-toed sloth. :elephant: :elephant: -inserts coin-